Day 05 – Whatever tickles your fancy – Perspective

I was going to write about my favourite book but then I don’t really have the time today to do it.  It is a lovely book and it deserves justice. So I am going to write about an incident that happened a few days ago.

Last year, on a trip to Goa, my sun allergy was triggered. Actually I don’t know if I am truly allergic or it was just a very bad sunburn and I don’t even want to figure out. I just know that it took months to heal and a lot of experimentation on my dermat’s end to find out what actually suits me and what doesn’t. I am a very difficult patient. Since then, I don’t look at myself in the mirror. I don’t observe my face and I don’t look at the leftovers of that burn. I apply whatever make up I want to and without observation I step out.

Now that I have endless amount of time to do stuff I couldn’t do earlier, I decided to go to the dermat again and find out if we can completely fix my face now as I no longer react to sunlight etc. He agreed. We started some stuff and it backfired. Dejected and angry, I went back to him the next day. I had to wait for almost an hour to see him. In the meanwhile, I noticed there was a small kid in the waiting room with his mom. Around 7-8 years old I guess. And as I wasn’t wearing my glasses, I couldn’t see him clearly. Eventually realized that he had terrible rash on his face and hands. Like black freckles all over. As I am not the sort to ask questions, I didn’t say anything. With over an hour in the waiting, one of the other women got tired and struck up a conversation with his mom. And she remarked that she was here to sort her son’s sun allergy. I woke up from my bored stupor on hearing that. She went into details about his school and all, which I barely heard.

It just struck me like lightning.  I have been going on and on about this since over a year. May be not talking to people about it but in my head on how this actually ruined my face and possibly put an end to all my Goa trips. And here is a kid, who I am sure loves to play cricket, participate in school sports etc. and he cant do it because he has the same condition albeit in a highly more serious form.

I was almost tempted to walk out of there without talking to the doctor. But then I reminded myself that I wasn’t doing this to look better or for any superficial reason. I was doing to this to finally get better, learn how to manage the condition and move on. I, perhaps, owe it to myself to get better. And if that kid wasn’t impatient and angry about it, I had no right to be either.

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